A Meaty Mystery
This little story may sound like it comes from the the pages of a Dr. Seuss book but I assure you it’s true. A few summers ago, a very strange thing happened to me – someone started throwing sausages into my garden. Now, the first time it happened I of course thought it was odd; it’s not very often that you find meat products on your patio, but I just assumed that some weird neighbour must have thought that I had a dog– presumably an invisible malnourished dog but it seemed like the most logical explanation. Slightly bewildered but not terribly concerned I donned a pair of rubber gloves and binned the offending offal. A few weeks later, though, it happened again. And then, a few weeks after that, more sausages…how bizarre!
Krueger Sausage Company
At first, all that arrived were your standard pork links that had been randomly thrown over the garden wall. This was certainly strange enough but as the weeks went by some variations started to appear. Beefy bangers were thrown into the mix. Cumberlands and Chipolatas made occasional appearances and then I got up one morning to see strings and strings of sausages that had been formed into a huge sausage spiral – like some kind of weird meaty crop circle. I soon began to doubt whether the strange sausage-giver was a mystery dog-lover at all when half a dozen two-packs of part-cooked microwave sausages materialized…still in the wrappers!
This weirdness quickly became the topic of hot (dog) conversation between me and my friends. Who would do such a thing? It must be a butcher. Were the sausages in date? Not sure what difference that would have made as it’s not like I was going to eat them! Did my deliveries ever include eggs? Very funny. Why on earth would someone do it? The consensus was that I had a stalker. I wasn’t so sure though; what type of freak would try to woo someone with vast amounts of protein?
Sausage Race
Surely flowers and chocolates are the more obvious way to win a woman’s heart. The girls however were convinced that it was sinister and my university (http://theuniversityblog.co.uk/) pals went further and suggested that the offending bangers represented the menacing meat message that I was soon to become mincemeat myself! Luckily though the sausage man (for some reason we always assumed it was a man) and his curious “gifts” disappeared as mysteriously as they had appeared in the first place. But not before the grand finale – when I went out to my car to discover the windscreen covered in squares of corned beef???
But anyways, if you’re not that into simple sausages, and more into fine wining and dining, you should make sure to check out today’s deal!
Today’s Deal for Manchester | (Running till the end of Tuesday the 3rd August, 2010) |
Photography: Swanksalot and Chad Davis
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